Choosing to Die
I can’t process being faced
with such a choice.
I suppose none of us can
until it becomes our reality.
She met with the doctor today
and decided to discontinue treatment.
He said she has two to eight weeks.
That feels very final.
She’s been declining for some time.
This development shouldn’t be a surprise.
I guess I thought it would just happen—
I didn’t realize there would be a decision.
She forgets things from earlier in the day.
She no longer has command of her body.
That must all be unbelievably frustrating.
She’s always been so alive, so dignified.
Almost 35 years I’ve known her—
since I was a young man of 21.
Where did all those years go?
This day was never going to arrive.
Many wonderful memories.
Myriad kind gestures.
Always my advocate.
Elegant in all her roles.
A difficult decision for her, no doubt—
a tough reality for those left behind.
I thank God for having her in my life.
My greatest blessing came from her.
[12 August 2022]